Prayers!

Hi everyone. I have officially made it through six weeks of counseling real people as a student intern. And it has only taken me until this sixth week to absolutely hit a wall. Due to confidentiality and lots of important laws and rules, I cannot share specific stories with you. You wouldn't want me to anyway. I have learned a few things in this time that I thought I'd share with you. First of all, it's one thing to go to class and hear professors teach and have a few role plays and read stories in a book. But real people are just that - absolutely real. And their stories and pain and heartbreak and trauma are real. When those people sit across from you and share their pain with you, there are two things that come to mind - absolute honor that they would somehow trust you enough, even though they don't know you, to share their story with you AND complete thankfulness that I am not God, nor do I have to be. Because here is the reality - counselors can't fix it. Only God can ultimately transform, redeem and heal. I can't make another person choose well. I can't fix their life or make their problems go away. I can't carry their burden for them. All I can do is walk with them as they take the journey to their healing and freedom.

I think this is one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm exhausted in every way. I feel completely inadequate and like perhaps I should choose a different career. And yet I also believe God has called me to this and equipped me for it. But wow....sometimes there are just really no words.

I'm sharing this with you all for this specific reason - I would covet your prayers at this time in my life. While people might think to pray for pastors, we don't often think of counselors as being on the front lines. But trust me - we are. I am coming face to face with evil and the consequences of sin. And it's tough. Sad. Heartbreaking. Please pray that God will give me wisdom, that I will know when to speak and when to be silent, that I will be able to sit with another person in their pain and be present with them but leave it behind when they leave the office. Pray for energy and hope and that I will remember that God really does redeem and restore and bring beauty from ashes. Thank you for sharing this journey with me!