Monday, November 29, 2010

I Am Easily Amused

My parents left this morning to head back to GA. It was great to have them here visiting, even if I didn't get to see them all that much. We had a blast at Mickey's Christmas Party last night, and I'll post pictures from that soon. In the meantime, I am trying to get schoolwork done before I head to work for the evening, but I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep! :) So I am taking a school break to write this quick blog.

A few entries ago, I shared that I had a goal of getting a cute picture of me and Ellie in our matching Santa hats this holiday season. With the parents in town, it seemed like the perfect opportunity, so we tried to capture the moment yesterday. Ellie was NOT happy. She is not a fan of the hat, and she didn't want to be held with the hat on. I would pick her up, we'd try to snap one picture and then I'd have to set her down to try it all over again. Here is one we got where she clearly wasn't having any part of it...

This next one isn't too bad, but she wasn't looking at the camera.

This was one of my favorites...

And finally, we have the winner! This was voted the favorite of everyone who was here. Ellie is just happy that the photo session is done, and she has stopped running from me when I try to pick her up. :)

Yes, I have issues. But at least I have fun. :) Now, back to work. Have a great week!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

On Shopping & Dishes

Greetings!! Well, it is official - I survived the Black Friday weekend!! Hopefully my body will recover quickly from the madness - I'm getting way too old for this. :) I worked 16 hours on Friday - from 2am until 6pm and then 10 1/2 hours yesterday. I have slept really well the past two nights - I guess when you're completely exhausted, you get some really great sleep. Today I finally get to hang out with my parents and then tomorrow starts the final push towards the end of semester for school. But I will think about that tomorrow! For today, a few stories to share...

I know I'm a girl and that most girls love to shop. I have never been one of those girls. Shopping is not my favorite thing to do, and if I do need something, I will go specifically for that item. I'm not much of a browser and going to shop without a purpose is not really fun to me. Maybe this is because I grew up with brothers and no sisters and spent most of my time outside playing. I don't know, but I have always been this way. I remember once in college I had a friend who loved to shop. She invited me to go to the mall with her, and I figured it would be a fun way to pass a couple of hours. What I was unaware of was that she was one who wanted to go in EVERY store and look at EVERY item of clothing on EVERY rack - even if it wasn't our size. That afternoon at the mall was my own personal version of hell, and let's just say I never went shopping with her again! :) All of this is just to convey that malls are not my favorite place to spend free time. If they were, however, the Black Friday weekend would cure me of wanting to shop ever again. It is nutty and one of the craziest things to me. I know there are good deals, and maybe one day when I'm not actually working on that day, I will enjoy partaking in the madness. Or maybe not. For those of you who were out in the insanity, I hope you had a great time!

In other news, we had a fun Thanksgiving. Matthew and my parents were here, and we enjoyed making a Thanksgiving meal with our traditional favorites. We also got to video chat with Michael and Bekah, so we were all "together" for at least a little while. I made a homemade banana pudding for dessert - it was delicious!!

I also made a green bean casserole. I found Paula Deen's recipe a few years ago, and while it is totally not healthy, it is the most delicious green bean casserole I've ever had and has become a family favorite. But all the food aside, one of my most favorite parts of Thanksgiving was getting to use my new dishes.

When I got married, we picked out very neutral dishes. When I got divorced, I kept most of the dishes. It wasn't that I necessarily loved them or wanted to have them around, but I like to cook. I wanted to have plates to put food on and I didn't have any money, so practicality won out and they stayed. I've wanted to change them for a long time, but I am a practical person who doesn't like to spend money, especially on things that aren't really necessary. I figured if I ever got married again someday, I'd just register for different dishes and deal with it then. Well, here we are four years later, and I've made some decisions. I don't know what the future holds - maybe I'll marry again or maybe I'll be single. Despite all of that, if I want dishes that reflect my personality and weren't picked out with my ex-husband, that's okay! My uncle works at Macy's, and with sales and discounts, I was able to replace my dishes very inexpensively. And here they are....

This is minus one color because I had to switch it out, but I LOVE them!!! It's so fun to open my cabinet or my dishwasher and see all of the brightly colored dishes. And I love that when people eat, everyone has a different color! I think these new smiley dishes reflect me very well, and I'm going to enjoy using them. There are other colors too, so if I ever want to add to them, I can just keep adding new colors. And if I do ever get married someday, I'll just register for Christmas dishes instead! :)

That's all for now. I'm going to go enjoy hanging out with my parents on their last full day here. We're going to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party later today, and I can't wait to introduce them to the magic of Christmas there!! Pictures to come soon... Happy Sunday! :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Giving Thanks

Hi Everyone! Happy Thanksgiving week to all! I have much to be thankful for, some of which I will get to in a minute. First though, I wanted to write one of those posts - you know, where I get all reflective and share something that's on my heart. It's been awhile since I've really had a post like this, but one of the things I love about having this blog is being able to go back and read this journal of the past few years. It always helps me remember where I've been and what I've learned and how far I have come. And on this night, when I really should be sleeping, I have a few thoughts to share. I think putting them on "paper" will help me sleep...

Anyway, my parents arrived in town tonight to spend Thanksgiving week with me! Yay for parents and a fabulous family! They are one of my treasures that I am most thankful for. Brother Matthew arrives tomorrow, which will also be awesome. Michael and Bekah couldn't come now, but we will all be together in GA in a few weeks to celebrate Christmas. Due to the fact that we have company in town, Nikki and I decided to decorate our apartment for Christmas last night. We love having it decorated for the holidays, and we wanted it to be all cute for our visitors. We listened to Christmas music while we decorated our trees and put up some other stuff. Here are our completed trees - cute, yes?? :)

I LOVE Christmas. It's my favorite time of year. I love everything about the holiday - the music, the lights and decorations, what we're really celebrating, a time to stop and give thanks, time to be with family, Christmas trees, cinnamon smells...the list could go on and on. But can I confess something? Holidays are hard. In one of my classes, we talked about how fluid our memories are, and how much we actually forget quickly after it happens. One reason we remember so much about holidays is because they involve all of our senses - we remember things by taste, smell, sight, touch, etc. That is fantastic when there are things you want to remember - not so much when those memories also involve pain.

As Nikki and I were decorating our trees last night, we were both rather pensive. All of my ornaments on my tree remind me of something. I love unwrapping them each year because it always jogs memories and reminds me of certain times in my life or places I've gone or of a person who gave it to me. And even though it's been four years, it sometimes still hurts. It seems like the holidays bring out some of those hurts. It makes me mad that it still hurts after all this time. But I'm trying to learn and grow and be more and more comfortable with myself, even in facing emotions I don't like, so I'm attempting to rest in this pain and process through it....thus the reason for a late night blog. :)

Last night after I turned out the lights, I was looking at my tree, and one ornament glowed at me. Here is a picture of my tree...bet you can see which one it is!

Right in the center of my tree is a bright purple sequined ornament that says "joy". Nikki gave it to me last year. It was such a good reminder for me. Even when things hurt, even if this isn't how I would have chosen for my story to be written, even if this isn't "how it was supposed to be", God still sees me. This is His story for me - and He is using it to create beauty out of ashes and glorify Himself - and joy still exists. I might be 32, divorced, living with a roommate and a cat, decorating a tiny Christmas tree, but that doesn't define who I really am. God does. And deep down inside, I have joy. I have a deep abiding joy, and I have joy in the littlest blessings of life. I have a really fabulously decorated apartment, I can wear reindeer antlers to work, I can go to Disney World, I can study to be a counselor, I can spend time with the greatest family and friends ever, and most of all, I can rest my head on my pillow every night knowing Jesus loves me. He loves me so much, He has allowed me to walk the road of these past four years and to come out on the other side a more refined daughter of the King. Even in the hurt, there is still joy. And that is a miracle that I am thankful for.

So even if it sometimes hurts, I will still enjoy this holiday season. And I pray that no matter where circumstances find each of us, we will not lose sight of what we are celebrating. The God of the universe, who knows every fiber of our being, loved us so much that He sent His Son to earth. From birth came death. And from death came Life and a redemption that continues to this day. Thankful does not begin to describe it. Enjoy this week of Thanksgiving and the Christmas season that follows. And may joy be found in each day - in little and small ways!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The State Of Things

Greetings! It's been awhile since I've written a blog, and I felt the need to write a new one tonight. I am completely exhausted, so this is probably not the best time to try to write anything profound, but we'll give it a shot. :) Reasons for the exhaustion... Number one, I just worked 21 hours in two days. Santa arrived at the mall! He arrives on the roof of the mall, amidst much smoke and loud music and such, comes down off the roof, and then there is a parade into the mall where he "lights" a gigantic two story tree, and then he takes his place on his throne for all the little kiddies to come and visit him. Lovely, all of it. I only have a couple of issues with this. To begin with, he arrived two weeks BEFORE Thanksgiving! Can you imagine all of the kids who got to visit him thinking Christmas is soon? "Mommy, when is Santa coming? When will it be Christmas?" "Oh, not for like 48 days!!" The other issue I have with it is that as soon as Santa appears, people become grinchy. I don't know what it is about the holidays that bring out the worst in people, but they do. So as you all do whatever shopping you're going to do this year, remember this: BE NICE to the people that serve you. We have feelings too! We're also making your food and could do any number of things to it....not that we would....I'm just sayin', choose wisely whom you irritate! :) And there is NOTHING you are buying that is worth getting an attitude, hurting another person, or having a sense of entitlement. It's just stuff.

Okay, I'll get off the soapbox now. In an attempt to survive the holiday madness, I am having as much fun at work as possible. We sing Christmas songs and make up dances and quote movie lines all day. On the night of Santa's arrival, I made my entire front counter wear Santa hats, and I wore my reindeer antlers. I think it helped our cheer. :)

Reason number two for my exhaustion is when I have down time from work, I am doing schoolwork. We're getting close to the end of the semester, which is both exciting and hard to believe, but that also means that much work is due in the coming weeks. I'm trying to be very disciplined and proactive and plan ahead so that I don't leave it all to the last week where I won't be able to get it all done. With that said, I just completed one of my projects! We had to videotape ourselves counseling one of our classmates for 15 minutes. We then had to write a verbatim of the video - literally every word that each person said had to be documented. I finished the verbatim a little while ago, and while a pain to do, it was actually quite interesting.

In watching myself on video, I realized how little we get to watch ourselves. I know that I have a perception of myself and how I think I act or present myself to other people. But when you see yourself on video, you are able to see yourself as you really are. It's fascinating. For example, maybe in your mind you are being extremely expressive as you tell a story, but when you see yourself, you realize you're barely showing any emotion. I'm obviously learning so much about being a counselor through my program, but I am also learning a ton about myself. I'm learning just how God has created me, and to be okay with that and comfortable in my own skin. I'm learning how to be challenged and to grow - hopefully without taking on the expectations of how others expect me to grow, but just following how God directs me. It's an amazing process and one I am abundantly thankful for. I hope to sit down and write a much better blog about what I have learned once I get through the semester and the madness that abounds.

In the meantime, please pray for me. These next weeks are going to be insane. I don't want to miss the life going on each day in the stress of all that has to get done. Add school to working 40+ hours a week, in holiday madness, dealing with cranky people....and that's not even counting Black Friday, where I will probably work at least 14 hours on that one day. There's a lot going on, and it's a recipe for disaster if I'm not careful, so pray that I will have wisdom to balance what has to get done with relaxation and fun, and that I will take things one moment at a time.

Towards that end, I have a fun goal for this holiday season...I took this picture last holiday season and thought it was hilarious.

Yes, I have issues. You should be used to this by now. :) Anyway, I was home by myself one day and playing with the self-timer on my camera. I was out on my balcony, so imagine me trying to wrestle my mad that she had on a hat cat, hit the timer, and smile all in about 10 seconds. This was the best I could do. So my goal for this Christmas is to get a fantastic picture of me and my cat in our matching hats. Ellie is thrilled. Hahaha....you can eagerly await the results! In the meantime, have a great week!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Weekend In Boston

This past weekend, I was able to go to Boston and visit Michael and Bekah. I had a great time getting to see them and spend time catching up on life. They recently made a trip to New York to pick up Bekah's furniture from home and redecorated their apartment. It's so cute!! Here is their "Pottery Barn" living room and bedroom...and yes, we used the fireplace a couple of nights. I even roasted a marshmallow to make a s'more! :)


And here is a picture of my brother and his wife! The second picture is them with the kids who live in the lower level of the house they rent. They love Michael and Bekah and came to trick-or-treat before they went out in the neighborhood.


It was quite chilly while I was there. They all tried to convince me that it had been warm prior to my arrival, but the cold air was there when I arrived and it just got colder as the weekend progressed. I took my puffy with me, and it kept me very warm! Here is a picture of me and Bekah and my lovely puffy. :)

I was able to spend some time with Tim and Joanna and their family while I was there. Tim is the pastor of the church I went to up there, and they were both instrumental in being part of my healing process and helping create a safe place for me to be. I love them and their family, and it was so good to see them and catch up. They have four awesome kids, including a seven year old daughter that I adore and miss, and it was fun to see her as well. It's always nice for a child to run across the room and take a flying leap into your arms when they see you. :) Here we are together...

One of the coolest aspects of the weekend for me was the opportunity to be back in Boston and just be reminded of how much God has done in my life over these last three plus years since I moved there. I think the North Shore will always be special to my heart because of the circumstances that took me to Boston and the healing that took place while I lived there. I used to take long walks around the water, especially the first summer there. I found that I couldn't be in the midst of God's creation without remembering how great He is. I knew that the same God who told the waves how far up on the sand they could come knew I was walking beside them, and knowing that helped me believe He still had a purpose for my life. Being back there this weekend reminded me of those times. I'll be a "work in progress" until I see Jesus face to face, but God really has done miraculous healing in my life. I am grateful for the reminder and so thankful that He loves me enough to meet me wherever I am and continue to mold and shape me into who He's created me to be.

This first picture is from the rocks that were at the end of the street where I lived. I actually didn't alter this photograph to make it greener - the water really did have that fluorescent green color and I thought it looked amazing.

Michael and I lived in an apartment that was surrounded on three sides by the ocean. I used to walk the loop around where we lived. This dock was on one end of the loop, and I thought it looked cool to have the fall colors on the trees in the background.

The fall colors had started to fade, but it was still beautiful, especially living in Florida where we don't really get many leaf changes. Here are a few of my favorite pictures that I took.



All in all, it was a great weekend! I enjoyed the chance to get away and relax, see beautiful scenery, catch up with friends, spend time with Michael & Bekah, and be reminded of how much God loves me. Not bad for one weekend! :) I'll try to write again soon with more updates. In the meantime, I hope you all have a fantastic rest of the week!