SCHOOL!

Greetings and salutations from the Sunshine State! Hope this post finds you well. Today marked the last day of a job Nikki and I both had taking photos of newborns at hospitals here in Orlando. The job itself wasn't that bad - I enjoyed the cute little newborns when they weren't crying, pooing themselves, not cooperating, etc., and I learned a lot. I'm not afraid of babies and can dress them really fast now! :) Anyway, no money was made at this job, so it was time to move on. To celebrate the ending, we went to Magic Kingdom, where it was quite crowded and hot, so we rode 2 rides and came home. But we specifically went to ride my very favorite ride - Splash Mountain - and it was so fun! I love that ride!! :)

As awesome as Disney is, (and even though I've been living here almost a year, my heart still smiles whenever I get to a park!) this post is not about Disney. It is to let you know about some decisions I have been making regarding school and the near future. So here goes!

In previous posts, I have mentioned my desire to go back to school to get my Masters in Counseling. As time has gone by, this desire continues to grow, and I am truly excited to get started. I had applied to two schools here in Orlando - one is a seminary and one is a Christian school, but not a seminary. Both have excellent programs, but the programs look very different. My personal preference at the beginning of this process was to go to the seminary, but from the beginning, I have been asking God to lead the way. I know He sees the bigger picture and as I can only see what is right in front of me, I asked that He open and close the necessary doors so that I would end up where He knew I needed to be, even if it was for reasons I didn't know. And He has done just that! In ways that I never would have predicted, He has made it very clear what the next path for me is. Therefore, I am excited to announce that I will be starting my classes at the end of August and am an official student at....

...Palm Beach Atlantic University, here in Orlando! One of the perks of this school is that the classes are at night, so I can work during the day to continue to pay my bills and then go to school at night so that I can get my degree to pursue what I really want to do. I was also offered a full time job at Chick-fil-A! I will continue doing their marketing for them but then also work as a manager to make up 40-45 hours a week. This will allow me to pay my bills but also give me the flexibility to attend school and do what I need to do with that. God has definitely provided with this job, and I am very thankful!

Not gonna lie - never thought I'd end up back at the Chick one day, but I am very excited that I can make enough to live while going to school at the same time. I'm having some fun with it too. I figure if I have to wear a ponytail everyday, then I'm going to have some fun ribbons to put in my ponytails. Here are a few samples... :)

There will be many more posts to come regarding school, but I wanted to let you all know what I am up to. Thank you for your prayers over this last year. It's been a crazy journey, but I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be and am looking forward to moving into this next chapter and seeing what God has in store. I'll keep you posted! For now, have a great week!

Happy Birthday!

Greetings! So I have some exciting and cool news to share with you regarding grad school and decisions and plans made.... BUT you will have to check back for that blog in the next couple of days. Because today, my blog is dedicated to my fabulous brother Matthew who turns 30 today!

I know I'm 32, but I don't really feel "old" until I start thinking about the fact that I now have a brother in his 30's as well. That's crazy to me! It seems like only yesterday that we were kids, playing together all of the time, having a blast and enjoying life together. In some ways we haven't changed, and in others, we're all totally different. Take a look at the physical difference... :)




Hahaha....I have always loved being a big sister. I adored my brothers when we were kids, I have been thankful for their protection and care as they looked out for me, and I love that we are friends as adults.

And so brother Matthew, on this May 20, 2010, let me be the first to welcome you to the 30's club! I am excited to see what your 30's will hold for you. You will be starting your own family, and I can't wait to be an active participant in your lives as God continues writing your story. I can't wait to see you be a dad and watch you love your family well. I look forward to being Aunt Midge. :) You are an amazing man, and I am so proud of you and all you have done and accomplished in your life. But mostly I'm proud of who you are. You are a man of integrity, honor, and dignity. You love well and tenderly. You see others and their hurts, and it makes you hurt. You are a gifted coach who knows how to bring out the best in kids without beating them up. You are a great brother! And I am honored and thankful to be your big sister.

Happy 30th! May this next year be your best yet, and may God's richest blessings pour out on you this year and in the years to come. I love you!

Jesus Loves Me

Hi everyone. I'm writing this blog post 40,000 feet in the air as I fly back to Orlando from a weekend spent in the Great White North. I know it's been awhile since I last wrote, and I think I shall stop apologizing for the length between my posts. Just know that when I have something to share, I'll write about it! :) Anyway, I was in Boston for Michael's graduation from seminary (YAY brother!!) and enjoyed a lovely visit with family and friends. I have lots of thoughts in my head that I shall try to share with all of you...

First of all, I love flying into Boston. When I arrived in Boston three years ago, I had no idea what I was doing. I remember waking up one day and suddenly realizing that I was in a new place and wasn't entirely sure how I had gotten there. Even in the fog of figuring out what was next, God was so faithful to provide me with a safe place to begin the healing process, surrounded by His magnificent creation and awesome people to walk the journey with. And though I have been gone for almost a year now, every time I fly into Boston my heart smiles. I think it will always hold a piece of my heart because it's where God met me in amazing ways, and I can't help but think about all that He did whenever I find myself back there.

I believe God shows Himself to us in big and small ways each day that we live...it's just that we often miss what He is showing us because we're too busy or not paying attention or resigned to the way that life is. But you can't see sights like this (and the other images in this post that I took this weekend) and not be aware of God.

I don't think it's an accident that God allowed me to live in a place for the first two years after my divorce where I would regularly encounter moments that took my breath away as I stood in awe at His majesty, power and grace, surrounded by the beauty of what He has made. And each time I am back in that place, I have an "oh duh" moment... "Okay God, You know what You're doing....thanks for the reminder." :)

As I have spent the last year in Florida, God has continued the healing process in me. But this year of healing has looked different. It's been healing on a much deeper level and in some ways more painful than initial healing. And honestly, I have wrestled with God for most of this year as He has taken me to places I didn't want to go and revealed areas in my life that need to be examined and offered to Him for transformation. This is not always an enjoyable process, and I still find myself kicking and screaming through this desert portion of my journey. Thankfully, God is patient and kind and loves me anyway. I am most grateful for this!

One of the things that has been difficult for me is not being afraid to be myself - to be exactly who God has made me to be, with no apology. When someone has left you - especially a person who was never supposed to do so - it creates a fear that if you aren't "good enough" or don't keep people happy or mess up, etc., someone else might leave. I admit that this is a stressful way to live because you end up trying to perform for love instead of just resting in it. I struggle with performance anyway, so add this to that, and well....it's not a pretty picture.

But have no fear - God is working on me with this very issue right now in my life, and being in the Great White North this weekend reminded me of something very simple and yet very profound. He loves me. He created me with the same care that He made His beautiful creation. And He loves me. Forever. No matter what.

I was filling out a scholarship application for grad school the other day and had to write a brief description of myself. It's actually interesting to try to write an honest description of yourself in a limited space. What do you say? How do you describe yourself to someone who has never met you? Below is an excerpt from what I wrote...

"MercyMe wrote a song quite a few years ago called Undone. I feel that the first verse and chorus of this song is a great place to start a description of me…

No apologies for who I’m meant to be
The only thing that matters is that I am free
When I am overwhelmed, holding pieces of my heart
When I feel my world start to fall apart

To the cross I run, holding high my chains undone
Now I am finally free
Free to be what I’ve become
Undone

These last few years have truly undone me. I have experienced very dark nights, the miraculous healing power of Christ and everything in between. I have clung to God as He breathed for me when I didn’t care if I ever breathed again, and I have wrestled with Him over what He has allowed and at times where I now find myself. I have depended on others in new ways and have never wanted to trust anyone again. I have rested in indescribable peace and battled anxiety. I have been afraid to be who I have been made to be for fear of someone else leaving, and I have enjoyed rediscovering exactly how God has made me to be. Dreams have shattered but new dreams have awakened, and I find myself excited about all that God has for me in this journey.

So who am I? I’m just an ordinary girl made extraordinary by the love and grace of Jesus. I have the heart of a child and enjoy maintaining a sense of awe and wonder at the magnificent world that surrounds us. I find joy in simple things, I love baseball, music, fun socks, wearing ribbons with a ponytail, ice cream and Disney World. I have the best family in the world, great friends, I have a cute cat, and I’m passionate about seeing other people discover the true freedom we have in Christ. I am nothing apart from Christ, and even in wrestling with God at times, I know at the end of the day when I lay my head on my pillow that He loves me and I am His."

When I was a kid, my brothers and I sang the song "Jesus Loves Me" all the time. I don't think I fully grasped then the magnitude of what I was singing. "Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so..." I believed it because Jesus said it. But now as an adult, struggling with trust, it's much harder to just accept at face value that Jesus loves me. We all have these arguments..."yeah but if you knew what I did.....but He let this happen to me....but I have been struggling with my belief in Him....but I'm scared and confused and not sure".... or whatever your personal argument might be. Regardless of all of that, Jesus loves me (and you!). The Bible says so. The end. :)

So as this healing journey continues and new adventures abound, this is where I find myself...relearning to rest in the simple fact that Jesus loves me, just as I am - crazy sock wearing, Disney loving, ribbons in my hair and all . To help me remember, you just might find me singing this song a whole lot in the coming days. Sing the chorus with me, will you?

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
For the Bible tells me so!