Sometimes after class I feel the need to process something that was discussed because it affects me in a profound way or it irritates me or pricks my heart and I know I need to think more about it. A lot of the processing happens with classmates, the roommate, my mom or in counseling, but sometimes I like to share my processing with all of you. So here's a random tidbit of learning for you to think about as well....
Tonight in class my professor was talking about counseling and how that oftentimes, things do not go as planned. Maybe we had something in mind prior to the session that we wanted to do and the client refuses or doesn't really cooperate. Maybe we thought they'd go one direction and they go in the opposite direction instead. Maybe we have no idea what to say or do in that moment. He said some of the best advice he could give us is this: It is what it is....and God is in control. It is what it is - that moment is the reality you are dealing with, so be in that moment and go from there. Even though it's simple, I found that to be very profound. How often do we wish away a moment or wish that our reality was different than it is? But perhaps all God is asking of us is to be present in that moment...to experience all that He has for us, even if it means experiencing the pain or heartache that we desperately want to escape from. Or to be fully present in unimaginable joy, relishing the moment without looking forward and missing it. I don't necessarily have any answers or anything, but this is how I process. So let's process together! What would it be like to approach life with that mindset? It is what it is....and God is in control.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Remembering
This time of year is a cause for remembrance for a lot of people. It's a new year, a chance to reflect back on the year that has just been completed, to take stock and evaluate. It's a time to look forward at an entire year stretching out before you like a blank canvas, waiting to be filled in. It's a time to dream, to create resolutions, to wonder, to celebrate.... And for me, this time of year is a time of remembrance for a little bit of a different reason.
January 14, 2006 was my wedding day. Five years ago this Friday to be exact - well, the wedding was on a Saturday, but you know what I mean! And on this Friday, I won't be celebrating my five year anniversary. Instead, I've been divorced for almost four. There are times when that still makes me stop and shake my head. I wonder if I dreamed that part of my life or if any of it was actually real. So much time has gone by now that January 14th is really just another date. I mean, I think I'll always know what it meant when that day pops up on the calendar, but I really am okay. However, there's just something weird about the five year mark.
Five years is a long time. I think about all I would have been celebrating five years into a marriage. I'm one of those people that thinks it's cool to celebrate five years and ten years and such. Not that you don't celebrate the other years, but I love the "marker" years - the ones that make the year seem even more special, be it a birthday or an anniversary. I think I would have had fun with my fifth anniversary. I might also be celebrating the life of a child - or perhaps more than one child. Who knows. And while I can't help but wonder what life would have looked like, the truth is that it looks very different than how I would have imagined it. If I had written my story, I would not have included this script. But you know what? I wouldn't change a thing.
Don't get me wrong - divorce sucks and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. But I am who I am today because of the journey of the last five years. I would not be where I am in life, doing the things I am doing, having had some of the experiences I've had, without this story. I wouldn't be able to be in a counseling program, learning how to walk with other people through their valleys without experiencing my own.
When I walked down the aisle that day five years ago, I was walking toward my groom. But I was also walking to Jesus, saying yes to Him, and pledging to follow Him with my life. The groom might have walked away, but Jesus hasn't. So on this five year mark, I celebrate in new ways. I celebrate life and healing, hope and expectation. I celebrate salvation and redemption and joy. I praise God for loving me enough and caring about me enough to continue His refining of me - even when it's painful and annoying at times. :) And at this time of year, I choose to remember God's faithfulness to me.
Three years ago, I wrote a blog post on what was the first January 14th after my divorce. You can read that entry here if you'd like - it's a pretty good summation of that time in my life. At the end of that entry, I quoted part of a David Crowder song that says this: "After night comes the light, dawn is here.... It's a new day, everything will change, things will never be the same, we will never be the same..." Those words were true then, they're true now, and I think they'll be even truer five years from now. God is faithful to His promises. After night comes the light. He redeems and He restores, and we are never the same.
So happy day of remembrance to me! And a sincere thank you to all of you who have shared the journey with me in some capacity in these five years. I could have never done it alone. Much love, and may God continue to refine as we walk through 2011 together.
January 14, 2006 was my wedding day. Five years ago this Friday to be exact - well, the wedding was on a Saturday, but you know what I mean! And on this Friday, I won't be celebrating my five year anniversary. Instead, I've been divorced for almost four. There are times when that still makes me stop and shake my head. I wonder if I dreamed that part of my life or if any of it was actually real. So much time has gone by now that January 14th is really just another date. I mean, I think I'll always know what it meant when that day pops up on the calendar, but I really am okay. However, there's just something weird about the five year mark.
Five years is a long time. I think about all I would have been celebrating five years into a marriage. I'm one of those people that thinks it's cool to celebrate five years and ten years and such. Not that you don't celebrate the other years, but I love the "marker" years - the ones that make the year seem even more special, be it a birthday or an anniversary. I think I would have had fun with my fifth anniversary. I might also be celebrating the life of a child - or perhaps more than one child. Who knows. And while I can't help but wonder what life would have looked like, the truth is that it looks very different than how I would have imagined it. If I had written my story, I would not have included this script. But you know what? I wouldn't change a thing.
Don't get me wrong - divorce sucks and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. But I am who I am today because of the journey of the last five years. I would not be where I am in life, doing the things I am doing, having had some of the experiences I've had, without this story. I wouldn't be able to be in a counseling program, learning how to walk with other people through their valleys without experiencing my own.
When I walked down the aisle that day five years ago, I was walking toward my groom. But I was also walking to Jesus, saying yes to Him, and pledging to follow Him with my life. The groom might have walked away, but Jesus hasn't. So on this five year mark, I celebrate in new ways. I celebrate life and healing, hope and expectation. I celebrate salvation and redemption and joy. I praise God for loving me enough and caring about me enough to continue His refining of me - even when it's painful and annoying at times. :) And at this time of year, I choose to remember God's faithfulness to me.
Three years ago, I wrote a blog post on what was the first January 14th after my divorce. You can read that entry here if you'd like - it's a pretty good summation of that time in my life. At the end of that entry, I quoted part of a David Crowder song that says this: "After night comes the light, dawn is here.... It's a new day, everything will change, things will never be the same, we will never be the same..." Those words were true then, they're true now, and I think they'll be even truer five years from now. God is faithful to His promises. After night comes the light. He redeems and He restores, and we are never the same.
So happy day of remembrance to me! And a sincere thank you to all of you who have shared the journey with me in some capacity in these five years. I could have never done it alone. Much love, and may God continue to refine as we walk through 2011 together.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Sinus Issues
Greetings and happy Saturday to you all! I have a prayer request to share with you this evening that is somewhat random but important all the same. This is a post that includes a medical discussion about snot, so don't continue reading if that will gross you out. :) I went to the doctor this past week because I had a place on my throat that had been there for about 4 months and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. My throat was fine, which is good, but in the process of looking at that, my doctor told me that he was concerned that I was having constant nasal drip based on the appearance of my throat. Long story short, he took an x-ray of my sinuses and it turns out that one of my front sinus cavities is almost completely blocked with infection and has been for some time. I had no idea this was the case, but it does explain constant drainage and waking up every day with a sore throat.
I have been put on an antibiotic for a month because apparently no ENT will do anything with your sinuses unless you have first tried the antibiotic. At the end of the month of drugs, I will have a CT scan done of my sinus cavity. If it comes back clear, hurray for me - the antibiotics worked! If it does not, the only solution is to have sinus surgery where they will scrape out my sinus to remove the infection. Sounds pleasant, yes? Anyway, he said antibiotics only work on 2 out of 10 people. Here is where the prayer request comes in. Please pray that I will be one of the 2! :) I already barely have time to sleep with work and school and I'd rather not try to fit a surgery in there too.
I've been on the antibiotic for three days now, and for the past 2 days, I have been extremely nauseous as my body was adjusting to the medicine (I love being so drug sensitive..). Today I have not felt well. Either in a total coincidence I am fighting a cold OR the medicine is actually working and my sinus is beginning to drain. Regardless, I have lots o' drainage down my throat, my throat hurts and my head hurts. I was feeling fine until I started the medicine, but if this works, I'll take it.
So that is the news on my poor sinus that I never knew was infected. I'll keep you posted on what happens and again would appreciate the prayers that when it comes time for the CT scan, it will be clear. Another post to come in the next few days, AND school starts back on Tuesday! Have a great weekend!
I have been put on an antibiotic for a month because apparently no ENT will do anything with your sinuses unless you have first tried the antibiotic. At the end of the month of drugs, I will have a CT scan done of my sinus cavity. If it comes back clear, hurray for me - the antibiotics worked! If it does not, the only solution is to have sinus surgery where they will scrape out my sinus to remove the infection. Sounds pleasant, yes? Anyway, he said antibiotics only work on 2 out of 10 people. Here is where the prayer request comes in. Please pray that I will be one of the 2! :) I already barely have time to sleep with work and school and I'd rather not try to fit a surgery in there too.
I've been on the antibiotic for three days now, and for the past 2 days, I have been extremely nauseous as my body was adjusting to the medicine (I love being so drug sensitive..). Today I have not felt well. Either in a total coincidence I am fighting a cold OR the medicine is actually working and my sinus is beginning to drain. Regardless, I have lots o' drainage down my throat, my throat hurts and my head hurts. I was feeling fine until I started the medicine, but if this works, I'll take it.
So that is the news on my poor sinus that I never knew was infected. I'll keep you posted on what happens and again would appreciate the prayers that when it comes time for the CT scan, it will be clear. Another post to come in the next few days, AND school starts back on Tuesday! Have a great weekend!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
What I Learned My First Semester of Grad School
Well, Merry Christmas everyone! And happy birthday to my fabulous dad on the day after Christmas! Hope you have all enjoyed your Christmas celebrations and spending time with family. I survived my first Christmas alone, mostly by pretending it wasn't actually Christmas. :) I did get to skype with my family as we opened presents together, and that was fun. I also got to chat on the phone with some awesome people throughout the day, but I spent most of the day on the couch reading. After the madness of the past weeks, it was just what the doctor ordered! I will admit that I hope next Christmas looks a lot different than this one did, but all in all, I'm thankful for the gift God gave to us and that He got me through the day. :) Oh, and Happy New Year too! I started this blog on the day after Christmas, but well....it's just now getting finished!
On to school....I haven't had much time lately to process my first semester of school, but I have time now, and I wanted to share my reflections of what I learned during these past few months. I'm going to try to add some of my favorite recent pictures to the post to help break up the writing. Enjoy reading about all I have learned....
*The professional is the personal
This was probably the one thing I was most unprepared for when I began this program. Any school experience I've had in my life prior to this has been just that - school. You learn some stuff, you do the assignments, and you move on to the next class. In my counseling program, however, everything is personal. Who you are as a person will directly impact who you are as a counselor. Yes, we're being trained and learning skills and helpful information. But through the process, I am being personally transformed. You cannot learn about how to help people through the stuff in their lives without changing yourself. Because of this element, school can sometimes be exhausting. I found myself always thinking about stuff and processing what happened in class or what I was reading because it all impacted me personally. I have grown in ways I never imagined, and I know that will continue throughout the upcoming months.
*Learning about something you're interested in is really fun!
The last time I was in school, I enjoyed it, but in undergrad you have to take so many core classes that you never end up using and that you really don't care about. Every class I am taking has something to do with training to be a counselor, and they are all so interesting! It is really cool to see how much better school is when you are studying a subject that you are excited about and know you are preparing for a specific type of career.
*God made me special and He loves me very much!
Who knew there would be so much wisdom found in VeggieTales? The truth of this statement is something that I continue to wrestle with. I would love to say that I don't care what other people think about me, but if I'm being totally honest, I have to admit that I do. I want to be liked and respected and thought well of, and in a school setting I want people to think I belong there, that I will be a good counselor and that I have good things to contribute to discussions, etc. But the truth of the matter is that I am unique. God made me special (just like He made you special)! There were times this past semester that I felt out of place. Perhaps all of my classmates liked a certain book that I didn't. Or they viewed a situation differently than me. Instead of focusing so much on what might be wrong with me because I see something in a different way, I am coming to realize yet again that God made me on purpose for a purpose. He needs some people in the world to think outside of the box. He needs creativity and different ways of thinking. And it's really about much more than being "right" or "wrong" - it's just being comfortable with who He has made me to be, knowing He loves me, and that is enough! I know this is an area God will continue to refine in me, but I'm giving you fair warning now - 2011 could bring Tiffany even more unleashed, and it could be scary!! :)
*God WILL continue refining
While this semester has continued God's refining process in my life, I know it will not stop now. I have already gotten all of my books in the mail for this upcoming semester. (They are currently out of the way so I do not stress out while looking at the big pile. Let's be honest, I needed this break!) In looking at the books and seeing the subjects I will be studying, it's amusing in a sick sort of way to see how God uses all parts of our lives to mold us and shape us and continue His work in us. It seems as though whatever I am wrestling with is somehow incorporated into my studies so that I am forced to continue working through and dealing with whatever those issues might be. While this can sometimes be annoying, I am very thankful because I do want to be healthy, and I believe that it is my responsibility to be as healthy as possible before I attempt to speak into another person's life as a counselor.
*When God calls, He equips
Even in this first semester of school, there have been times where I have questioned if this was what I was really supposed to be doing. What if I heard God wrong? What if this wasn't what He had in mind for me to do? But over and over again, He has confirmed that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. And I have discovered the truth that when God calls us to something, He really does equip us. Despite my struggles, ponderings, and wrestling, when I have needed to do something - be it an assignment, helping a friend work through an issue, encouraging a classmate or co-worker or whatever - God has equipped me with what I needed when I needed it. I am confident He will continue to do this as I keep going down this path He has made for me.
*Appearances can be deceiving
One very important thing I was reminded of this semester was how judgmental I can be. I tend to make snap assessments of people based on a first encounter - what they look like, an initial conversation... This is totally unfair in all of life but something I must stay away from as a counselor. Appearances really can be deceiving and it's not fair to assume you know what someone's life is like by how they look or by how things might appear to be. Everyone has a story, and everyone's story is worth knowing, no matter what they might look like or how they might act.
*EVERYONE needs counseling!
This statement pretty much sums itself up, but it's true - everyone needs counseling. We all have issues. And those issues affect our relationships and how we approach the world and the impact we have on others. As believers especially, I think it's so important to be healthy so that we can be in relationship with God and others as close to the way He designed it as possible. We miss so much because we stay trapped in our small lives, living in fear of what other people might think and say and do. So find a godly counselor and let 2011 be the year of freedom and health!
So there you have it - a small sampling of what I learned in my first semester of graduate school! It was a great beginning, and while I am fully enjoying this break, I am looking forward to all that is in store in this next semester and the continuing adventures of 2011. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for your prayers and support! May 2011 be a year filled with glorious adventure, grace, love, and growth for each one of us! More to come soon! :)
On to school....I haven't had much time lately to process my first semester of school, but I have time now, and I wanted to share my reflections of what I learned during these past few months. I'm going to try to add some of my favorite recent pictures to the post to help break up the writing. Enjoy reading about all I have learned....
*The professional is the personal
This was probably the one thing I was most unprepared for when I began this program. Any school experience I've had in my life prior to this has been just that - school. You learn some stuff, you do the assignments, and you move on to the next class. In my counseling program, however, everything is personal. Who you are as a person will directly impact who you are as a counselor. Yes, we're being trained and learning skills and helpful information. But through the process, I am being personally transformed. You cannot learn about how to help people through the stuff in their lives without changing yourself. Because of this element, school can sometimes be exhausting. I found myself always thinking about stuff and processing what happened in class or what I was reading because it all impacted me personally. I have grown in ways I never imagined, and I know that will continue throughout the upcoming months.
*Learning about something you're interested in is really fun!
The last time I was in school, I enjoyed it, but in undergrad you have to take so many core classes that you never end up using and that you really don't care about. Every class I am taking has something to do with training to be a counselor, and they are all so interesting! It is really cool to see how much better school is when you are studying a subject that you are excited about and know you are preparing for a specific type of career.
*God made me special and He loves me very much!
Who knew there would be so much wisdom found in VeggieTales? The truth of this statement is something that I continue to wrestle with. I would love to say that I don't care what other people think about me, but if I'm being totally honest, I have to admit that I do. I want to be liked and respected and thought well of, and in a school setting I want people to think I belong there, that I will be a good counselor and that I have good things to contribute to discussions, etc. But the truth of the matter is that I am unique. God made me special (just like He made you special)! There were times this past semester that I felt out of place. Perhaps all of my classmates liked a certain book that I didn't. Or they viewed a situation differently than me. Instead of focusing so much on what might be wrong with me because I see something in a different way, I am coming to realize yet again that God made me on purpose for a purpose. He needs some people in the world to think outside of the box. He needs creativity and different ways of thinking. And it's really about much more than being "right" or "wrong" - it's just being comfortable with who He has made me to be, knowing He loves me, and that is enough! I know this is an area God will continue to refine in me, but I'm giving you fair warning now - 2011 could bring Tiffany even more unleashed, and it could be scary!! :)
*God WILL continue refining
While this semester has continued God's refining process in my life, I know it will not stop now. I have already gotten all of my books in the mail for this upcoming semester. (They are currently out of the way so I do not stress out while looking at the big pile. Let's be honest, I needed this break!) In looking at the books and seeing the subjects I will be studying, it's amusing in a sick sort of way to see how God uses all parts of our lives to mold us and shape us and continue His work in us. It seems as though whatever I am wrestling with is somehow incorporated into my studies so that I am forced to continue working through and dealing with whatever those issues might be. While this can sometimes be annoying, I am very thankful because I do want to be healthy, and I believe that it is my responsibility to be as healthy as possible before I attempt to speak into another person's life as a counselor.
*When God calls, He equips
Even in this first semester of school, there have been times where I have questioned if this was what I was really supposed to be doing. What if I heard God wrong? What if this wasn't what He had in mind for me to do? But over and over again, He has confirmed that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. And I have discovered the truth that when God calls us to something, He really does equip us. Despite my struggles, ponderings, and wrestling, when I have needed to do something - be it an assignment, helping a friend work through an issue, encouraging a classmate or co-worker or whatever - God has equipped me with what I needed when I needed it. I am confident He will continue to do this as I keep going down this path He has made for me.
*Appearances can be deceiving
One very important thing I was reminded of this semester was how judgmental I can be. I tend to make snap assessments of people based on a first encounter - what they look like, an initial conversation... This is totally unfair in all of life but something I must stay away from as a counselor. Appearances really can be deceiving and it's not fair to assume you know what someone's life is like by how they look or by how things might appear to be. Everyone has a story, and everyone's story is worth knowing, no matter what they might look like or how they might act.
*EVERYONE needs counseling!
This statement pretty much sums itself up, but it's true - everyone needs counseling. We all have issues. And those issues affect our relationships and how we approach the world and the impact we have on others. As believers especially, I think it's so important to be healthy so that we can be in relationship with God and others as close to the way He designed it as possible. We miss so much because we stay trapped in our small lives, living in fear of what other people might think and say and do. So find a godly counselor and let 2011 be the year of freedom and health!
So there you have it - a small sampling of what I learned in my first semester of graduate school! It was a great beginning, and while I am fully enjoying this break, I am looking forward to all that is in store in this next semester and the continuing adventures of 2011. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for your prayers and support! May 2011 be a year filled with glorious adventure, grace, love, and growth for each one of us! More to come soon! :)
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