Promise

Greetings to you from Orlando! It's been a little crazy around here as we have been trying to find jobs, get things settled, and figure out what to do next. Reality has also been hitting a little bit that we actually live in Florida now. We're not here on vacation, we're actually staying here... and on top of all of that, deeper continued healing keeps taking place.

I read this quote from a book written by Robin Jones Gunn, one of my favorite authors.... "So, if I love God, and I mean really love God with abandon, then I must come to love myself, my life. I need to love my story at the heart level. That's what I believe life is for all of us. A story being written by God. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. When I start to love my story, with all its messed up twists and turns, then I can love other people who are living out their own stories with all their messed up twists and turns."

This quote really hit me because I realized that while healing has occurred and continues, I don't really love the story God has written in my life in the last few years. At times I'm embarrassed by it, worried how it makes me look, sometimes filled with regret and shame over what has happened. Obviously I believe that God has used this all for my good and His glory, and I ultimately wouldn't change any of it, but I haven't embraced it - I haven't loved the story God has written for me, with the twists and turns He has allowed.

And now I find myself in a new place, with the only certainty being that I have a place to live, a Florida license, and the opportunity to live with one sister and near another. Today was a discouraging day because Nikki and I ran into some deadends in the job search. Not really deadends, but just not much that was encouraging. We were feeling really sorry for ourselves, sitting on the couch having a pity party and trying to figure out what to do. To top it off, it was raining and nasty outside.

So we were sitting on the couch, eating dinner, and I happened to look up and out the window and saw the most glorious rainbow. It was SO bright and vivid. I scared my cat because I yelled, "Oh my gosh, look it's a sign!!!! Go get your camera!" We both jumped off the couch and got our cameras and went out to our balcony. The rainbow was a full rainbow - and was so big that we couldn't capture the whole thing in one photo from our balcony. As soon as we got out there and started taking pictures, the rainbow started fading.

In the Bible, rainbows are always a symbol of God's promise, and Nikki and I needed a reminder of how much He loves us and that we can trust Him more than I can say. I might not always understand God's plans, His ways, and I may still be learning to love the story He's writing in my life, but tonight He reminded me that He loves me, He does have a plan, and He created me for a purpose. I got my very own rainbow to prove it!