To begin, my friends Jenn and Will had their first baby last week. She is so beautiful and so incredibly tiny! I got to hold her in the hospital when she was only hours old, and we spent some time with them yesterday at their house. Here is a picture of her.
It's amazing to me to look at a newborn and realize we all started out that way - tiny, completely helpless and fully dependent on others for everything. And yet as adults, we try to do everything on our own, depending on no one. When does that transformation happen? When do we get to the place where it is considered a weakness to show the depths of our struggles? And what makes us fight against a complete dependence on God? There is no safer place to be than resting fully in Him, and yet we often fight that with everything we have.
In the last two weeks, I have traveled to the Great White North and to GA for a weekend. Out of the time spent in each place, goodbyes took place. One goodbye was to a fantastic guy that I had the privilege of getting to spend a few months getting to know but who ultimately just wasn't the best fit for me. The other goodbyes were to people who have been a part of my life for years but who it was time to let go of and move on from. Both situations were painful, for different reasons, but both were also necessary.
I must confess I am tired of this journey. It's been a long few years, and I wish sometimes that God would hurry the process up and that I would be done with this particular road. And yet, everything I have walked through and continue to walk through has forced me into a dependence on God not unlike being a newborn. I can't do anything in this life apart from Him, and when I try....well, it isn't pretty.
I am weary. I am sad. I still need a job. I still have dreams that may or may not come true. I miss my family. I miss my church. I continue to battle the physical effects of stress. But I am okay. And God is good. Jesus loves me. And that is enough.
4 comments:
You are right...God is great, and He is enough. Love you.
I love the last picture of Bella in her sweet rest totally dependent on her mommy and daddy to survive. Thank you for the honest admission of your own dependence on the only One who can care for your heart in the same way. Your transparency encourages me on my journey. I love you and miss you, but know you're right where you need to be. "Greater things are yet to come"!
Tiffany, I continue to dream good dreams for you - and I have to confess I get impatient for the Lord to work everything out for you. You are such a beautiful woman, inside and out, and it makes my heart hurt when you hurt. Thank you for sharing with such honesty - that is a gift! I love the photos of Jenn's little baby girl, and the reminder that it is only in complete dependence on God that we can truly rest. I love you!
Hugs, Glenda
Tiffany! I found your blog through facebook, just wanted to say hi so you know I'm out here lurking and reading.
sounds like you have a good handle on a frustrating situation, hang in there. timing isn't OUR plan but HIS, so know this chapter will serve a purpose later.
hope you're doing well!
Post a Comment