A Renewed Hope

Hi everybody! Well, as promised from my last post, I am going to try and put "on paper" some of what God has been doing in my life over these last weeks. We'll see how successful I am, as so much of what is in my head is still being processed. But I do want to keep you posted on what's going on, so here goes....

First of all, living with Nikki has been totally awesome. It has been such a blessing to share life with her as a roommate. We've been able to talk about so many things, and while I would never wish our experiences on anyone, it's nice to talk with someone who really does know how you feel. In our discussions, we've had some great conversations that have really redeemed some of what we have walked through in these last years.

Along with conversations we've shared, we have also watched a couple of videos that have been very encouraging (Louie Giglio from Passion - Hope When Life Hurts Most) and great reminders of what is true. We've been visiting churches here in Orlando, and at every single church we've visited, the sermon has been on hope, trust, faith, or facing your fears. I've also read some books, talked with people, received encouraging emails.....and through all of it, I have ended up at the same place...

No matter what the circumstances look like, no matter how dark the night, no matter if I understand or not, Jesus loves me. Period. The end. It sounds simple, but believing that changes everything. If I ever doubt that Jesus loves me, all I have to do is look at the cross where He died for me, and that should pretty much clear up any question I have of His love for me. And in His hanging there on a cross, He experienced it all - He was betrayed, He was scorned, He was considered weak and powerless, He was beaten to a pulp, He tasted death....and yet, what looked like the worst moment in history became the turning point for mankind. Love won. And when I rest in His love for me, I can trust Him - NO MATTER WHAT.

Life is full of uncertainties. None of us know the number of our days. And trouble will come to us all. But we can live life safely, letting our fears chart our course, or we can let go of our fears, hang on to God, and live in the peace that trusting Him brings. I have lived the last few years of my life letting my fear dictate my decisions, determine much of how I viewed life, and certainly not trusting God fully. God is working on my heart, molding, healing, bringing me face to face with the fears that I have let stand in the way. Is this an easy process? Painless? Fun? Heck no! But there is no other place I'd rather be. Because the only sure thing in this life - the only place to build our foundation - is in Christ. And by trusting in Him completely, I can be free to truly live, to love, to risk, and to run through this life, praising the one who gives me life in the first place.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. But I have hope. I am excited about what God is doing and what He has in store. And I look forward to sharing it with all of you! I will keep you posted and would appreciate your prayers that God will give me the courage to let go, fully trust Him, and once again fully live.