An Honest Moment

Hi everybody. I know it's been a long time since I've written a blog. It's been an insane month or so as I finished my first semester of grad school. But guess what?? I FINISHED!!!! :) I'm quite proud that I made it through the first semester. I learned a ton and my first semester reflection blog will be coming soon. I also have lots of fun pictures to share from my weekend visit to GA when we celebrated Christmas with the various sides of the family, and that blog will be coming soon too. For tonight though, I have a very honest post to share, along with some prayer requests....

First of all, Matthew had knee surgery today. It went very well and the doctor is confident he was able to clean things up to the point that it will hopefully reduce the pain he has been in. Prayers are certainly appreciated for a quick healing for him and that his pain levels will be as low as possible.

Secondly, my grandmother was taken to the ER on Thursday evening with severe pain. Turns out she had a blockage in her intestine, and they had to do emergency surgery in the middle of the night. They were able to remove the whole blockage but with where it was and what it looked like, the doctors feel pretty certain that it is most likely cancer. She had already said that if it was cancer she wasn't going to do chemo (she is 79), so we'll see what the results are and what her decision is.

Before that is even a contemplation, there are many other issues going on right now that I would appreciate your prayers for. I want to be very respectful of my grandmother and her situation, so I am attempting to explain as much as I can while saying as little as possible. My grandmother has struggled with alcoholism for a very long time. Because of that, there have been a lot of extra complications with this surgery that might not otherwise be there. There are a lot of problems with her heart and blood pressure. On top of all of that, we are now dealing with withdrawal and all that comes from that. Let's just leave it at this: it is not pleasant for her or anyone else. So I would really appreciate your prayers for this situation. Pray that my grandmother will heal quickly, that this stretch will go quickly, that her children (my mom and aunt and uncle) will be full of grace and love and patience, and that they will have wisdom to know how to handle the upcoming decisions.

Because of the situation with my grandmother and the unknowns with that, the original plans we had for Christmas are no longer going to be happening. Due to my work situation, my parents and Matthew had planned on coming down here for Christmas, and they will now be staying in GA. This is completely understandable, but this also means that this will be the first Christmas in all of my 32 years that I have not been with my family. Nikki is working all day and evening on Christmas Day, so I will literally be alone the whole day. Don't worry - I do have some options of some potential things to do so I won't spend the whole time by myself, but it's still hard. It's a lot harder than I thought it might be, and I'm sure that day will be tough as well. I'll make the best of it and enjoy the celebration, but for tonight, I'm whining. :) I'd appreciate prayers for me and my family as this Christmas will look different than we had hoped and that we'll be able to focus on what God has made possible instead of what isn't happening.

Finally, I'm personally just about done. With the madness of finishing school and the holidays making work crazy, life has just been insane. I'm exhausted and feel like I could use about a week's vacation but unfortunately, that is not a possibility. I'm working a ton of hours this week, and the mall is filled with tons of holiday shoppers. They are very un-jolly more often than not, which is never fun. There are some people I want to bash with my reindeer antlers, but that would not be a good thing. :) So pray for me that I will be able to make it through this week and maintain grace and kindness and Christmas cheer.

I think that's about it for now. I've tried to keep my blog authentic and real since I started it, and while ultimately we'll all end up where we need to be, this is an honest look at the struggles that my family and I are going through this evening. Thank you for letting me share them with you, and thank you for your prayers and support. More to come soon!

I Am Easily Amused

My parents left this morning to head back to GA. It was great to have them here visiting, even if I didn't get to see them all that much. We had a blast at Mickey's Christmas Party last night, and I'll post pictures from that soon. In the meantime, I am trying to get schoolwork done before I head to work for the evening, but I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep! :) So I am taking a school break to write this quick blog.

A few entries ago, I shared that I had a goal of getting a cute picture of me and Ellie in our matching Santa hats this holiday season. With the parents in town, it seemed like the perfect opportunity, so we tried to capture the moment yesterday. Ellie was NOT happy. She is not a fan of the hat, and she didn't want to be held with the hat on. I would pick her up, we'd try to snap one picture and then I'd have to set her down to try it all over again. Here is one we got where she clearly wasn't having any part of it...

This next one isn't too bad, but she wasn't looking at the camera.

This was one of my favorites...

And finally, we have the winner! This was voted the favorite of everyone who was here. Ellie is just happy that the photo session is done, and she has stopped running from me when I try to pick her up. :)

Yes, I have issues. But at least I have fun. :) Now, back to work. Have a great week!!!

On Shopping & Dishes

Greetings!! Well, it is official - I survived the Black Friday weekend!! Hopefully my body will recover quickly from the madness - I'm getting way too old for this. :) I worked 16 hours on Friday - from 2am until 6pm and then 10 1/2 hours yesterday. I have slept really well the past two nights - I guess when you're completely exhausted, you get some really great sleep. Today I finally get to hang out with my parents and then tomorrow starts the final push towards the end of semester for school. But I will think about that tomorrow! For today, a few stories to share...

I know I'm a girl and that most girls love to shop. I have never been one of those girls. Shopping is not my favorite thing to do, and if I do need something, I will go specifically for that item. I'm not much of a browser and going to shop without a purpose is not really fun to me. Maybe this is because I grew up with brothers and no sisters and spent most of my time outside playing. I don't know, but I have always been this way. I remember once in college I had a friend who loved to shop. She invited me to go to the mall with her, and I figured it would be a fun way to pass a couple of hours. What I was unaware of was that she was one who wanted to go in EVERY store and look at EVERY item of clothing on EVERY rack - even if it wasn't our size. That afternoon at the mall was my own personal version of hell, and let's just say I never went shopping with her again! :) All of this is just to convey that malls are not my favorite place to spend free time. If they were, however, the Black Friday weekend would cure me of wanting to shop ever again. It is nutty and one of the craziest things to me. I know there are good deals, and maybe one day when I'm not actually working on that day, I will enjoy partaking in the madness. Or maybe not. For those of you who were out in the insanity, I hope you had a great time!

In other news, we had a fun Thanksgiving. Matthew and my parents were here, and we enjoyed making a Thanksgiving meal with our traditional favorites. We also got to video chat with Michael and Bekah, so we were all "together" for at least a little while. I made a homemade banana pudding for dessert - it was delicious!!

I also made a green bean casserole. I found Paula Deen's recipe a few years ago, and while it is totally not healthy, it is the most delicious green bean casserole I've ever had and has become a family favorite. But all the food aside, one of my most favorite parts of Thanksgiving was getting to use my new dishes.

When I got married, we picked out very neutral dishes. When I got divorced, I kept most of the dishes. It wasn't that I necessarily loved them or wanted to have them around, but I like to cook. I wanted to have plates to put food on and I didn't have any money, so practicality won out and they stayed. I've wanted to change them for a long time, but I am a practical person who doesn't like to spend money, especially on things that aren't really necessary. I figured if I ever got married again someday, I'd just register for different dishes and deal with it then. Well, here we are four years later, and I've made some decisions. I don't know what the future holds - maybe I'll marry again or maybe I'll be single. Despite all of that, if I want dishes that reflect my personality and weren't picked out with my ex-husband, that's okay! My uncle works at Macy's, and with sales and discounts, I was able to replace my dishes very inexpensively. And here they are....

This is minus one color because I had to switch it out, but I LOVE them!!! It's so fun to open my cabinet or my dishwasher and see all of the brightly colored dishes. And I love that when people eat, everyone has a different color! I think these new smiley dishes reflect me very well, and I'm going to enjoy using them. There are other colors too, so if I ever want to add to them, I can just keep adding new colors. And if I do ever get married someday, I'll just register for Christmas dishes instead! :)

That's all for now. I'm going to go enjoy hanging out with my parents on their last full day here. We're going to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party later today, and I can't wait to introduce them to the magic of Christmas there!! Pictures to come soon... Happy Sunday! :)

Giving Thanks

Hi Everyone! Happy Thanksgiving week to all! I have much to be thankful for, some of which I will get to in a minute. First though, I wanted to write one of those posts - you know, where I get all reflective and share something that's on my heart. It's been awhile since I've really had a post like this, but one of the things I love about having this blog is being able to go back and read this journal of the past few years. It always helps me remember where I've been and what I've learned and how far I have come. And on this night, when I really should be sleeping, I have a few thoughts to share. I think putting them on "paper" will help me sleep...

Anyway, my parents arrived in town tonight to spend Thanksgiving week with me! Yay for parents and a fabulous family! They are one of my treasures that I am most thankful for. Brother Matthew arrives tomorrow, which will also be awesome. Michael and Bekah couldn't come now, but we will all be together in GA in a few weeks to celebrate Christmas. Due to the fact that we have company in town, Nikki and I decided to decorate our apartment for Christmas last night. We love having it decorated for the holidays, and we wanted it to be all cute for our visitors. We listened to Christmas music while we decorated our trees and put up some other stuff. Here are our completed trees - cute, yes?? :)

I LOVE Christmas. It's my favorite time of year. I love everything about the holiday - the music, the lights and decorations, what we're really celebrating, a time to stop and give thanks, time to be with family, Christmas trees, cinnamon smells...the list could go on and on. But can I confess something? Holidays are hard. In one of my classes, we talked about how fluid our memories are, and how much we actually forget quickly after it happens. One reason we remember so much about holidays is because they involve all of our senses - we remember things by taste, smell, sight, touch, etc. That is fantastic when there are things you want to remember - not so much when those memories also involve pain.

As Nikki and I were decorating our trees last night, we were both rather pensive. All of my ornaments on my tree remind me of something. I love unwrapping them each year because it always jogs memories and reminds me of certain times in my life or places I've gone or of a person who gave it to me. And even though it's been four years, it sometimes still hurts. It seems like the holidays bring out some of those hurts. It makes me mad that it still hurts after all this time. But I'm trying to learn and grow and be more and more comfortable with myself, even in facing emotions I don't like, so I'm attempting to rest in this pain and process through it....thus the reason for a late night blog. :)

Last night after I turned out the lights, I was looking at my tree, and one ornament glowed at me. Here is a picture of my tree...bet you can see which one it is!

Right in the center of my tree is a bright purple sequined ornament that says "joy". Nikki gave it to me last year. It was such a good reminder for me. Even when things hurt, even if this isn't how I would have chosen for my story to be written, even if this isn't "how it was supposed to be", God still sees me. This is His story for me - and He is using it to create beauty out of ashes and glorify Himself - and joy still exists. I might be 32, divorced, living with a roommate and a cat, decorating a tiny Christmas tree, but that doesn't define who I really am. God does. And deep down inside, I have joy. I have a deep abiding joy, and I have joy in the littlest blessings of life. I have a really fabulously decorated apartment, I can wear reindeer antlers to work, I can go to Disney World, I can study to be a counselor, I can spend time with the greatest family and friends ever, and most of all, I can rest my head on my pillow every night knowing Jesus loves me. He loves me so much, He has allowed me to walk the road of these past four years and to come out on the other side a more refined daughter of the King. Even in the hurt, there is still joy. And that is a miracle that I am thankful for.

So even if it sometimes hurts, I will still enjoy this holiday season. And I pray that no matter where circumstances find each of us, we will not lose sight of what we are celebrating. The God of the universe, who knows every fiber of our being, loved us so much that He sent His Son to earth. From birth came death. And from death came Life and a redemption that continues to this day. Thankful does not begin to describe it. Enjoy this week of Thanksgiving and the Christmas season that follows. And may joy be found in each day - in little and small ways!

The State Of Things

Greetings! It's been awhile since I've written a blog, and I felt the need to write a new one tonight. I am completely exhausted, so this is probably not the best time to try to write anything profound, but we'll give it a shot. :) Reasons for the exhaustion... Number one, I just worked 21 hours in two days. Santa arrived at the mall! He arrives on the roof of the mall, amidst much smoke and loud music and such, comes down off the roof, and then there is a parade into the mall where he "lights" a gigantic two story tree, and then he takes his place on his throne for all the little kiddies to come and visit him. Lovely, all of it. I only have a couple of issues with this. To begin with, he arrived two weeks BEFORE Thanksgiving! Can you imagine all of the kids who got to visit him thinking Christmas is soon? "Mommy, when is Santa coming? When will it be Christmas?" "Oh, not for like 48 days!!" The other issue I have with it is that as soon as Santa appears, people become grinchy. I don't know what it is about the holidays that bring out the worst in people, but they do. So as you all do whatever shopping you're going to do this year, remember this: BE NICE to the people that serve you. We have feelings too! We're also making your food and could do any number of things to it....not that we would....I'm just sayin', choose wisely whom you irritate! :) And there is NOTHING you are buying that is worth getting an attitude, hurting another person, or having a sense of entitlement. It's just stuff.

Okay, I'll get off the soapbox now. In an attempt to survive the holiday madness, I am having as much fun at work as possible. We sing Christmas songs and make up dances and quote movie lines all day. On the night of Santa's arrival, I made my entire front counter wear Santa hats, and I wore my reindeer antlers. I think it helped our cheer. :)

Reason number two for my exhaustion is when I have down time from work, I am doing schoolwork. We're getting close to the end of the semester, which is both exciting and hard to believe, but that also means that much work is due in the coming weeks. I'm trying to be very disciplined and proactive and plan ahead so that I don't leave it all to the last week where I won't be able to get it all done. With that said, I just completed one of my projects! We had to videotape ourselves counseling one of our classmates for 15 minutes. We then had to write a verbatim of the video - literally every word that each person said had to be documented. I finished the verbatim a little while ago, and while a pain to do, it was actually quite interesting.

In watching myself on video, I realized how little we get to watch ourselves. I know that I have a perception of myself and how I think I act or present myself to other people. But when you see yourself on video, you are able to see yourself as you really are. It's fascinating. For example, maybe in your mind you are being extremely expressive as you tell a story, but when you see yourself, you realize you're barely showing any emotion. I'm obviously learning so much about being a counselor through my program, but I am also learning a ton about myself. I'm learning just how God has created me, and to be okay with that and comfortable in my own skin. I'm learning how to be challenged and to grow - hopefully without taking on the expectations of how others expect me to grow, but just following how God directs me. It's an amazing process and one I am abundantly thankful for. I hope to sit down and write a much better blog about what I have learned once I get through the semester and the madness that abounds.

In the meantime, please pray for me. These next weeks are going to be insane. I don't want to miss the life going on each day in the stress of all that has to get done. Add school to working 40+ hours a week, in holiday madness, dealing with cranky people....and that's not even counting Black Friday, where I will probably work at least 14 hours on that one day. There's a lot going on, and it's a recipe for disaster if I'm not careful, so pray that I will have wisdom to balance what has to get done with relaxation and fun, and that I will take things one moment at a time.

Towards that end, I have a fun goal for this holiday season...I took this picture last holiday season and thought it was hilarious.

Yes, I have issues. You should be used to this by now. :) Anyway, I was home by myself one day and playing with the self-timer on my camera. I was out on my balcony, so imagine me trying to wrestle my mad that she had on a hat cat, hit the timer, and smile all in about 10 seconds. This was the best I could do. So my goal for this Christmas is to get a fantastic picture of me and my cat in our matching hats. Ellie is thrilled. Hahaha....you can eagerly await the results! In the meantime, have a great week!

A Weekend In Boston

This past weekend, I was able to go to Boston and visit Michael and Bekah. I had a great time getting to see them and spend time catching up on life. They recently made a trip to New York to pick up Bekah's furniture from home and redecorated their apartment. It's so cute!! Here is their "Pottery Barn" living room and bedroom...and yes, we used the fireplace a couple of nights. I even roasted a marshmallow to make a s'more! :)


And here is a picture of my brother and his wife! The second picture is them with the kids who live in the lower level of the house they rent. They love Michael and Bekah and came to trick-or-treat before they went out in the neighborhood.


It was quite chilly while I was there. They all tried to convince me that it had been warm prior to my arrival, but the cold air was there when I arrived and it just got colder as the weekend progressed. I took my puffy with me, and it kept me very warm! Here is a picture of me and Bekah and my lovely puffy. :)

I was able to spend some time with Tim and Joanna and their family while I was there. Tim is the pastor of the church I went to up there, and they were both instrumental in being part of my healing process and helping create a safe place for me to be. I love them and their family, and it was so good to see them and catch up. They have four awesome kids, including a seven year old daughter that I adore and miss, and it was fun to see her as well. It's always nice for a child to run across the room and take a flying leap into your arms when they see you. :) Here we are together...

One of the coolest aspects of the weekend for me was the opportunity to be back in Boston and just be reminded of how much God has done in my life over these last three plus years since I moved there. I think the North Shore will always be special to my heart because of the circumstances that took me to Boston and the healing that took place while I lived there. I used to take long walks around the water, especially the first summer there. I found that I couldn't be in the midst of God's creation without remembering how great He is. I knew that the same God who told the waves how far up on the sand they could come knew I was walking beside them, and knowing that helped me believe He still had a purpose for my life. Being back there this weekend reminded me of those times. I'll be a "work in progress" until I see Jesus face to face, but God really has done miraculous healing in my life. I am grateful for the reminder and so thankful that He loves me enough to meet me wherever I am and continue to mold and shape me into who He's created me to be.

This first picture is from the rocks that were at the end of the street where I lived. I actually didn't alter this photograph to make it greener - the water really did have that fluorescent green color and I thought it looked amazing.

Michael and I lived in an apartment that was surrounded on three sides by the ocean. I used to walk the loop around where we lived. This dock was on one end of the loop, and I thought it looked cool to have the fall colors on the trees in the background.

The fall colors had started to fade, but it was still beautiful, especially living in Florida where we don't really get many leaf changes. Here are a few of my favorite pictures that I took.



All in all, it was a great weekend! I enjoyed the chance to get away and relax, see beautiful scenery, catch up with friends, spend time with Michael & Bekah, and be reminded of how much God loves me. Not bad for one weekend! :) I'll try to write again soon with more updates. In the meantime, I hope you all have a fantastic rest of the week!

School Daze :)

Good Monday morning to you all! I should be working on schoolwork, and I promise I will be soon, but I thought I'd write a blog and catch you up on what's happening with school so far. I'm just past the halfway point in the semester, which is kind of cool. I finished my first class this past Thursday night (YAY!!!) and start a new class this Thursday. Here is a rundown on each class and what I am learning...

*My Tuesday night class is a counseling skills class. We are learning all sorts of important skills on how to counsel people well - asking questions, reflecting back what they have said, observing body language, etc. We have been put in triads, and each week we practice counseling each other with what we are learning. Each time you are in your triad, someone is the counselor, someone is the client, and someone is the observer. We spend about 5 minutes at a time in a "session", and then we switch roles. I've really enjoyed this so far. After reading so much about counseling, it's fun to actually get to try it. It's also cool how much you learn about yourself and your own personal style in watching others counsel. Even though there are skills to learn, it is also emphasized that counseling has to be authentic and real. I love this because each person is a different type of counselor, just based on personality and such. I am definitely learning a lot about myself through this experience.

*My first Thursday night class was a foundations of counseling class where we learned about the history of counseling - where we've come from, how we got where we are, and where we're going. We talked a lot about worldviews and the importance of knowing who you are and what you believe. On the last night, we had to do a group presentation, showing a movie clip that portrayed a worldview we were presenting. My group used the movie Napolean Dynamite, and we even did a little dance. Here's a picture of my group...

*My next Thursday night class is on theories of counseling, and we will be learning about the various theoretical orientations that are used in counseling. I think this will be an interesting class to take. It will be slightly weird at first because we will have a different professor. We've had the same professor for the first two classes, and now it is time to branch out! I'll share more about this class as I get into it.

*Overall, this program should take me about 2 1/2 years to complete. It's going by quickly though! I can't believe it's about to be November already. So far this semester, I have read hundreds of pages in books, written and turned in 4 papers (one that was 20 pages!) and completed one group project. Not bad while also working full time! I have A LOT more work to do to finish out the semester, but I'm trying to take things one day at a time and not worry too much about it. I'm trying to stay really organized and still have fun every now and then, but I'm mostly just working and doing school stuff.

*One thing that is making school even more awesome is that my classmates and I are really starting to connect. Friendships are growing, we are hanging out some together, and we are having a blast. Having that community makes everything better, and I am so thankful that I am getting to share this adventure with some amazing people.

*Finally, going to school is just continuing the healing process in me. I am learning that in order to be a good counselor, you have to know yourself really well and work through your own stuff before you can be much help to another. I have already begun this process by being in counseling this last year, but everything is continuing to be refined and I am being challenged and stretched even more through my classes and interactions there. It is not always fun, but it's good, and I am thankful for the work that God continues to do in my life as He prepares me for what He has for me to do.

So there you have an update on school! I must go get some work done before heading to work for the evening. Have a great week!

Monday Musings

Greetings, readers of the blog! I have to head to work in a bit, but I thought I'd give you all a quick update on the happenings here. It's been a CRAZY two weeks, but I have survived, and it'll be cool to see what happens next. For now, here are the highlights...

*I will finish my first graduate school class on Thursday night!!! It's amazing that 8 weeks of class have already gone by. I start the next 8 week class the following Thursday, but I'm still excited about the accomplishment of finishing the first one. I finished my last paper for that class today, and then I have a group presentation on Thursday night and we'll be done!

*I am learning so much through school right now, which is very cool. I'll write a blog soon that is just about school and what is happening there. It's neat to see how God is using school to continue His healing of my heart.

*I kind of hit a wall last week where I was totally over the insanity of my schedule. Working 40+ hours each week and going to school full time and writing bunches of papers leads to some exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed. However, I took some time in these last few days to take care of myself a bit and do some fun stuff. I am feeling much better about where I am now and am thankful for friends and Disney who help me remember to still enjoy life. :)

*I miss fall. I took this picture when I lived in Boston, and I wish I could see sights like this around here....

However, the weather has been cooler, which is awesome AND I am going to visit my brother and sister-in-law next weekend in the Great White North! Can't wait to see them and I'm hoping that there will be a few leaves left on the trees for me to see. Either that or maybe it will snow since I certainly won't get any of that down here. Don't tell my brother I would love to see snow fall though - he'll get mad! :)

*I know a lot of you read my blog and don't like to leave comments for multiple reasons. I understand this. However, if you could, I've love to get some comments from some of you, even if you just put a smiley face as your comment. It's nice to know sometimes that you're not alone and that people have your back. Thanks in advance!!

Must run now so I can read for a bit before heading to the Chick for the night. More to come soon... In the meantime, have a great week!

A Blog On Baseball

So the Braves' season ended last night. I thought it would be appropriate to give them a little shout out on my blog, as well as explain exactly why it is that I love baseball. Plus, this is a nice break from writing my massive paper for school...

I grew up in a sports family. My dad played every sport imaginable in high school until he blew out his knee. My mom's dad was the voice of the Atlanta Falcons the first ten years they were a franchise. And I was the only girl with two brothers who both loved sports. I actually played t-ball when I was little but that was as far as my baseball experiences went personally. When I was a kid, I used to wish that I had been born a boy so that I could be a major league baseball player. :) But that is not how God made me, so I did the next best thing...I learned the game.

My brothers both played baseball growing up, and as we were a family that supported one another, that meant we all grew up at the little league field. I spent more hours, days, weeks and years there than I could count. I figured if I was going to have to be there, I might as well get paid, so I took the classes and was trained as an official scorekeeper. And it was there that I fell in love with the game.

A lot of people think baseball is really boring. It's actually not. There is so much strategy and thought and analysis that goes into each game. When you know the game, you see much more than what is happening on the field, and it's really fun. My brothers and I grew up as Braves fans. We used to go to games in the 80's when they were absolutely horrible. You'd pay $5 and everyone would sit behind home plate because no one would be at the game. It was a bonus if they won the game - just being there was magical.

So as a true fan, it was an amazing experience for them to win the pennant in 1991. Baseball fever took over Atlanta, and when we lost the World Series in seven games, you would have thought we won. They had a parade for the team, and my mom let us skip school and took us to the parade in Atlanta. I was in 7th grade at the time.

My favorite way to watch a game in person is with headphones on so I can hear the announcers. There is nothing like it! For those of you who go to games with me and I don't do this, you should feel honored. :)

I've never been a huge superstar kind of person. I love the team as a whole. And this year's Braves team has been one of my favorites. It was Bobby Cox's last year before retirement, and this team was so much fun to be a part of as a fan. There were many dramatic moments in the season and if we hadn't had so many injuries, who knows what would have happened. But we did, and the season is over, and with it, the end of an era. I can't remember a Braves team without Bobby Cox as the manager. It'll be weird to start next season with someone else. I wish him the best as he moves forward in life.

I know a lot of people don't understand my love of this sport. I'm okay with that. And yes, I know there are a lot more important things going on in the world than baseball. But for today, I'm celebrating an amazing year, a fantastic team, a great manager, and what it means to be a fan. And when spring training starts down here in February....I'll be there. :)

An Update From Me :)

So I should be working on my 20 page paper that is due next week. But my brain is mushy at the moment, and so I am taking a break to write a blog instead. Here are my random tidbits for now....

*I stopped by Five Guys on my way home tonight because I was craving beef and am currently eating a delicious cheeseburger. Let's face it, a girl can only eat chicken for so long before the very thought of chicken makes you want to gag. No offense to my fabulous employer of course...

*I turned in my first graduate school paper last night! I was quite proud of that, I must admit. It's been a lot of years since I wrote papers, so it was cool to get that first one handed in. I have another paper due Tuesday that is already written, and then I have this 20 page paper due next Thursday. It's about worldview and spiritual disciplines and counseling and what we've talked about in class. This is part of the reason for my brain mushiness - it's not an easy paper to write, but it's also a fun challenge. After that paper is done, I have another paper and a project due the following week. But this should be the hardest one to write.

*Another reason for my brain mush is that I went to counseling this afternoon. My counselor is awesome - I love her! But sometimes I feel like I need counseling after counseling so that I can process what I just processed. Hahaha...try to figure that one out! Perhaps I'll just stop thinking for a bit and eat some chocolate. :)

*My Braves made the playoffs!! This is cause for much celebration and rejoicing!!!! I mean, in the grand scheme of life I realize that there are far more important things happening in the world than baseball. But I think it's okay to love it. I think God might be a fan Himself. And can you imagine the baseball games we could have in heaven??? Seriously though, I'm excited about the playoffs beginning tomorrow night. I love my team. I think they have a great story. It's cool that they're sending their manager out on a winning note. We might get killed in the playoffs, but it's still been a fun year. And I love this picture from the other night when they clinched...

*My cat is insane. She makes me smile. I caught her saying her nightly prayers the other night before she went to sleep. I wonder what she was praying for?? :)

*Finally, I shall close my blog with a picture I took on my last visit to the Great White North as a shout-out to all my Boston peeps. I miss you guys! And I miss the glorious scenery from the fall. The weather is finally starting to cool off here, and it's awesome outside right now.

Have a great week everyone! I'm off to work on my paper some more....and to eat some of that chocolate! :)

Sunday Update

Hi everyone! I'm taking a quick reading break to bring you this bloggy update. I don't have much time, so here goes the random updates of life here....

*I finished my first grad school paper today!!! :) I am quite excited about this! I actually have 4 papers and one project due in the next 4 weeks, but let's not think about that right now and ruin the excitement over finishing the first one.

*I actually never ever thought I'd go back to school. Ever. There wasn't anything I was interested in enough to do the school thing again of studying and writing papers. Never say never though. Now that I am back in school, it's really cool to see how awesome it is to study something you are passionate about doing. And I've been reminded how much I like being challenged and learning new things. I LOVE SCHOOL! :)

*The Braves are killing me. The postseason was ours for the taking. And we still have a shot. But if we don't start playing better and win some games, the playoffs will not be ours to experience. 7 more days. C'mon guys!

*I am really tired. It's quite difficult to either be working, sitting in class, or reading/writing. I literally don't have much time for anything else. I'm trying to do one fun thing a week to make sure I keep life balanced. Pray for me though because I don't have any days where I can just relax and do nothing. Pray for amazing energy and strength to make it during this season of life and that I will enjoy each minute of it!

*I am making chili for dinner tonight. I know some of you are actually experiencing fall like weather and temperatures now. We are not - it's really hot here still. But since it's about to be October, I'm pretending like it's fall-like outside and will enjoy my chili immensely!

*Praise Jesus for the invention of ice cream and chocolate. :)

Love you all - have a great week!

The Power Of The Tongue

Happy Sunday everyone! I have SOOOO much work to do for school, but I thought I'd post a blog anyway because I have thoughts to share and it's Sunday and an update is kind of needed. So a really fast update before I get to the point of this blog....

*I LOVE school!! I've had 2 weeks of class now, and I'm so excited at the thought of continuing to go and really start getting into the depth and practice of counseling. It's cool to see even from the very beginning how God is going to use school to continue His refining and healing process in me. I'm starting to get to know some people, and I'm just truly thankful for the opportunity to do this and to see how God continues to affirm that this is what He created me for. Yay for school!!!!

*My mom is coming in town Tuesday night for a brief September visit, with the whole purpose of her trip being theme park visitation. She, Nikki and I have wanted to go to Universal and see all of the new Harry Potter stuff since it opened, but it's been ridiculously hot and crowded and we decided to wait until September to go after all of the tourists left. (As an aside, if you ever want to visit Disney and want to know a great time to come, the first two weeks after the week of Labor Day are perfect. NO lines, no long waiting - just how it should be!) On Wednesday, we shall be spending the day at Universal and on Thursday, we'll be at Disney. Fun times to be had!

*The Braves are currently tied for first place! And it's Sept. 12th! It's been a few years since we were in this position, and it's so much fun to be a part of. Nerve wracking, but fun. I feel like I need to apologize to my professor though - at random times in class, I try to check my phone for score updates, or people text me updates. I'm careful to not be distracting, but let's be honest people. We're in the middle of a pennant race. Class or no class, I'm cheering them on! :)

Anyway, on to the tongue. At church, we are going through the book of James. It's been an awesome series. It's one of my favorite books of the Bible and so challenging. Today we discussed the passage on the tongue and how damaging - or healing - our tongue can be. It was very convicting and a great reminder of the power we yield with our words. At the end of the service, the pastor challenged everyone to confess to God what needed confessing regarding our tongue and to ask forgiveness from a spouse or parent or child or whatever if they were there with you and had been hurt by something you'd said.

From where I was sitting, I had a perfect view of an older couple, at least in their 60's, standing together. As the music played, the husband leaned down to his wife (he was much taller) and whispered something in her ear. You could see her whole body respond to what he said as she just sort of softened. Then she pulled him down so she could speak in his ear. They took turns doing this a few times and then pulled away and looked at each other in the eyes. I couldn't see the man's face, but I could see the wife's face, and the genuine love and affection she had was beautiful. I was literally standing there with tears in my eyes as I watched this expression of love and the power of forgiveness and grace.

Enough time has gone by now and God has done such miraculous healing in my own life that there aren't many things anymore that prick my heart in a big way regarding my own journey and situation, but today was one of them. As I watched this couple relate, I realized I had never had the opportunity to do that. I never got to experience how to disagree or have good conflict or how to move forward from those times deeper in love. I've certainly gotten to learn how to forgive, but it's been without the person being present, which is a different experience.

So for all of you who are married - and even if you're not, we're all in relationship with others - I'd encourage you to love well. It is a privilege to be able to speak life into another person. Guard your words carefully. We all have the power to bring life or to bring death to another person. It's a weighty responsibility to carry.

I think about this as I am preparing to enter into a healing profession myself. I have a great responsibility and privilege to walk with others through often very dark times in their lives. I pray that I will speak life to them and very carefully guard my tongue. I'd ask for your prayers as well, even in these beginning stages of school, that God will continue to give me eyes to see others as He sees them.... That He will continue to expose my prejudices and deal with them.... That I will love and love well, and that He will speak words of truth and life through me so that I may speak hope and healing into the lives of those He entrusts into my care....both professionally and personally. May we all reflect Christ to the world around us, especially in the words that we use. Have a great week!

The Cat & The Lizard

There once was a very cute cat named Ellie. She meowed a lot, ate food, and liked drinking cold water the best. Ellie loved people, especially her Mommy. She slept with her Mommy every night and at the first light of day, she felt it her responsibility to make sure that she woke her Mommy up with loudly meowed greetings. And as if this wasn't enough, there came a day when an enemy approached her home in the form of a great and scary lizard. Ellie wanted to protect her mother and her own safe home so it seemed only natural in her mind to attack the terrible lizard with great ferocity and strength. Only one problem stood in the way......the window.

This window stood between her and the lizard, and no matter how hard Ellie tried, she could not get to the lizard. He knew this and it made him brazen, taunting her with his many tricks. Ellie believed that perseverance was key, so she kept trying every day to get to him. She rattled the blinds, she tried to go through the window, she meowed.....all very early in the morning. And just in case the lizard might make an appearance, she checked the window EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Early in the morning. Rattling the blinds. Standing on her tiptoes to look out the window. Meowing.

Unfortunately, this is the closest she will ever get to the lizard (the brown thing she is leaning over would be her Mommy's bed)...

And if the lizard does not soon find a new home to torture, Ellie's Mommy may have to find a way to destroy the lizard so she can get more sleep. Or the cat's life may be in grave danger if this continues.

The End.

Stream of Consciousness

Greetings! You may find more blogs like this in the future, where I don't have a lot of brainpower and/or time and just put my random thoughts into a quick blog. It could be interesting! :) So on this last Sunday in August, as I look forward to starting school this week, here are my random thoughts....

*Roadkill... There has been kind of a lot of roadkill around here lately. The disturbing part is that almost as soon as the poor animal is dead, the very large, well-fed huge vultures descend on said animal and soon it is no more. This happened to an armadillo looking animal right outside my apartment parking lot the other day. The only thing left now is his shell. Today they were surrounding a huge turtle. I realize they have to eat and this is the way God created things. But it's rather disturbing to see. And gross. And really....do they have to be such fat vultures? It means way too many creatures have met with their demise...

*I was squeezing lemons at Chick-fil-A yesterday (yes, we really do have homemade lemonade. We hand squeeze the lemons every day and then add lots and lots of sugar and some water.). As I was squeezing, one of the lemons slipped and I juiced my knuckle instead. I would not recommend this! Today my knuckle is bruised and a little swollen and sore. :(

*I know people might think I'm sometimes a little crazy for wearing fun socks and keeping my inner child alive. But did you know it's catching?? Yesterday at the Chick, we were listening to music while we were making all the food, and we turned the radio to a Disney station. It was playing all the classic Disney songs, and I might have helped start the sing-a-long by belting out a few lines, but before long everyone had joined in, boys included. Sometimes the inner child just needs a bit of encouragement before it makes an appearance!

*I'm very thankful that school is starting all around the world. Disney World is back to how it should be - no lines, just waiting for me to show up and ride some rides. :)

*I have done a lot of reading for my first classes this week - trying to stay current on the reading assignments. I haven't even been to class yet and I've learned a lot. I have a feeling this whole experience is going to change my life on every level. Scary and yet exciting!!

*We're keeping an eye on all of the storms out in the ocean. I may get my wish to tie myself to a tree and hang on after all. We shall see!

*Laughter is good for the soul. I'm off to spend some fun times with the roommate. Have a great week everyone!

**PS...I LOVE BASEBALL!!!!! GO BRAVES!!!!

Starting School

Greetings to all the readers of my blog, however few of you there may now be! :) I have done a horrible job updating my blog this summer, mostly because I haven't had a lot of time. I've thought about discontinuing my blog, but I really do enjoy creating entries, and I like having a record of life from these past few years. So for now, the blog continues, and we'll see how it goes!

I'm sitting at my desk in my room - I have a desk! :) - while my cat snoozes on my bed. I am surrounded by a couple of piles of books. I have received all of my books for my classes for this upcoming semester, and I have also just gotten the syllabus for the first two classes I will be taking. One of my classes will last for the entire semester, and then the other class will last the first 8 weeks of the semester, and then my third class will be the second 8 weeks of the semester. It's gonna be a little crazy, folks. I'm pretty much just strapping on my seatbelt, taking a deep breath, and holding on for dear life! I had a moment of panic last week when I received my syllabus for the first 8 week class. I was less panicked when I received the other one today. I have to be honest - I have NO IDEA how in the world I am going to get all of the work done while working 45 hours a week, but I figure I'll just take everything one moment at a time and hope it all gets finished on time.

I've been debating back and forth all summer on whether or not to send out support letters to try to raise some funds to help with living expenses and school costs as I begin this adventure. I'm not one that likes to ask for help, especially monetarily, but the bottom line is that I can't do this without help, so I'm asking. I'm in the process of sending out the letters this week. I will be sending them to those family and friends I think wouldn't mind receiving one. But I also wanted those of you who read my blog to have the option of receiving a letter if you'd like to. Even if you aren't able to financially contribute, if you want to know the information and be willing to pray for me, feel free to email me and I'll make sure you get a letter. My email address is [tj2301@yahoo.com]. I would just post the letter here on my blog, but it contains information that I don't want on the internet, so if you want to make sure you receive one, shoot me an email with your address!

Thanks in advance for your prayers as I begin this next adventure. I am confident that I am where I am supposed to be and that God is guiding my path, but it's also a little overwhelming at the same time. I haven't been in school in ten years, so I'm hopeful I'll remember how to study! :) And I'm also asking for prayer for wisdom as I try to balance my schedule between work, school, and doing a few fun things now and then to stay sane. I am super excited to begin this, and as I see the books I'll be reading and the topics that I'll be learning about, I can't wait to see how God continues to shape and grow me as He prepares me for what lies ahead.

I'll do my very best to post updates on how things are going and what I am learning. Thanks for reading my blog and for all of your encouragement and support! Have a great week!

My Room

Greetings from the ATL! I am here for the weekend hanging out with the fam, so more pictures and posts to come soon. I wanted to post a few pictures of my updated room though. It makes me smile, and I love it, even if the colors might be a little bold or bright for most. :)

My room was inspired by my new shower curtain that looks like this:

I decided to keep the color theme going throughout my room. This is my bed and curtains that I created.


Before I got the curtains hung up, Ellie enjoyed playing in them and laying on them.

I still have to take pictures of our living room and the changes we made there, but because I moved a piece of furniture out of my room to the living room, I now have space for a desk. Since I'm going to be starting school, I thought it would be a good idea to have a place to get work done. My desk makes me smile. :)

So there you have it! I can't be in my room or bathroom and not smile, and I think that's a good thing. Many thanks to my parents for helping me get all of this set up while they were visiting. More to come very soon!

Grilling

I have seriously been the worst blogger ever lately, and it's not really for lack of anything to say. It's more of getting adjusted to this new schedule that I have. I am working between 40 and 45 hours at Chick-fil-A each week, and I have Wednesdays and then of course Sundays off. I never realized how difficult it is to not have two days off in a row until I don't have that. I have no idea what day it is anymore. Time has sort of become a lost concept, and since I work on Saturdays, weekends aren't as exciting either. Don't get me wrong - I still love having two days off a week - it's just weird that they aren't together! The other day I thought it was Tuesday when it was actually Friday. Haha... one thing about this is that time is seriously flying by. I can't believe that this is the last week of July! I only have a little more than a month before I start school, and I can't wait!!! More to come on that soon.

Anyway, some happenings here... Nikki and I decided to stay in our apartment for a host of reasons instead of moving. Since making that decision, we are just sprucing things up a bit here. One thing I did was change my shower curtain in my bathroom to this totally fun and brightly colored one. The rug is hot pink in case you can't tell.

I absolutely love it! I can't look at it and not smile, which is a good thing. I have a few more changes to make, and more pictures will be forthcoming. We're going to move some furniture around and hang up some pictures, so I'll have lots to show you. My parents are actually coming to visit this weekend. They were originally planning to help us move, but now they'll just help us with the changes and then we'll have fun hanging out. Can't wait to see them! They haven't been down here together since Thanksgiving.

Another addition to the apartment was a little electric grill (thanks Pa & Ma!!!). It's the only kind that we are allowed to have, but I LOVE it!!

Isn't it cute?? :) My first thing to cook on it was homemade hamburgers (cheeseburgers). They were delicious!

I was worried that because it was electric, the food wouldn't taste grilled, but I think because it has a lid on it that traps the smoke, that helps it taste grilled. Regardless of how it works, the food is good. I grilled chicken and veggies the other night that were fantastic. I shall become a grilling master. Mmm... :)

Much more to come soon - I will have some posts of the parentals and the changes to the apartment coming, as well as some updates on life and school. I really am enjoying living here in Florida and am excited about all that lies ahead! I shall end this post with a random picture. I took this picture during a Nor'easter my first fall in Boston. I braved the crazy wind and waves and tried not to ruin my camera taking this. I submitted it to a website asking for water pictures just for fun cuz I think it's kinda cool, so I shall leave you with this image of the glorious power of God. Have a great week!

Random Tidbits

Happy 13th of July! This month is flying by....I only have about a month and a half until school starts, and I am so excited! More to come on that very soon, but for now, here are some random updates about life here in Orlando.

*My cat still makes me smile. Here she is, caught sitting on a TV tray (bad cat!), appearing to pray. Perhaps prayer to escape getting in trouble??

*My brother has been in Orlando since Thursday and I have enjoyed having a family member here for an extended period of time. It's nice to spend a week with someone without there being an event that you are getting together for. I'm also really proud of my brother. He is walking through a tough time right now but he is following God, even in the hard moments. Basically, he rocks, and I love him!

*The major league baseball All-Star game is tonight. I'm super excited to watch it! Yay for 6 Braves making the team, yay for the Braves being in first place at this point in the season, and yay for baseball in general!

*Now that I know where I'm going to be living (Nikki and I decided to stay right where we are!), I am going to do a couple of things to freshen up my living arrangements. Step number 1 is a new shower curtain. I might change color schemes. We shall see. Pictures to come at a later date! I might get curtains. I am going to get rid of some stuff and hang some stuff on the walls. Yay for change that doesn't require moving!

*Jesus loves me - and He loves you too! I know this, but sometimes I need to be reminded of this truth. And He loves me for who I am, despite all of my imperfections and inadequacies. I am learning to love me in spite of those things as well. I love Jesus too. :)

*Sometimes, no matter how hot it is outside, you need to play mini-golf. So I'm off to kick my brother's tail!! Have a great week!

Year In Review

Happy July 1st! If you can believe it, a couple of days ago marked the year anniversary of when Nikki and I moved to Florida. When we drove into town on June 29th last year, I don't think either one of us had any idea of what was in store for our first year here.

We were excited about a new adventure but the adventure of this past year has been a little unlike what I expected. I guess that's pretty normal in life, but had you told me then where I would end up a year later, I might not have believed you! To celebrate my first year here in Florida, I thought I'd share with you some of the things I have learned/been reminded of while here. Enjoy!!

I Love Disney World!!
I know that this probably isn't a great surprise, but being here with Disney in my backyard has only increased my love for it. I have so enjoyed being able to go to the parks whenever I want and ride rides and see the parks decorated for holidays, etc. One would think that after going repeated times, the magic would start to wear off some, but that is not the case. No matter how many times I have gone to a park this past year, each time I drive under the "Welcome to Disney" sign or walk into a park, my heart smiles.

I Love Fireworks!
One of the perks of where Nikki and have lived this last year is that we can see the fireworks at Magic Kingdom from our balcony every night. I have enjoyed this greatly! In fact, I plan to watch the 4th of July fireworks from my balcony in a few days. Their show is amazing and I don't have to be in a crowd! Anyway, despite the fact that I can see fireworks on a nightly basis if I want to, I still love them! If I am ever driving home at night and can see them going off in the sky, I'm always like, "Oh my gosh! There are the fireworks!!!" Then I remember to pay attention and not drive off the road, but it is such a fun sight. I am a fan. :)

Rainbows Are Glorious
I have seen a good number of rainbows in the year I have lived here. I guess with the afternoon storms and abundant sunshine, conditions are right for them. God has been so kind to me though through rainbows this year as they have often appeared when I needed a reminder that He loved me and that His promises are true. He is faithful and while I know this to be true, sometimes it's nice to see a sign of His faithfulness before your very eyes.

I'd Rather Be Hot Than Cold
I loved my time in Boston. God did so much work in my life and I had an amazing group of people to share life with, lots of whom I still keep in touch with a year after leaving. I do miss seeing snow fall on occasion, but I would much rather be hot than cold! I love being able to walk outside any time of the year and do something outside whenever I want to. I love the sunshine and warmth and light. And while it's ridiculously hot outside right now, I'd rather deal with that than the freezing cold darkness.

Jesus Is Bigger Than Anxiety
My struggle with anxiety has been well chronicled on this blog, so I won't go into huge detail here. Suffice it to say that when I moved to Florida a year ago, I was still struggling very much with anxiety and panic attacks and not being able to calm down. I tried the medication route and nothing worked because I had reactions to everything, and I just remember getting to a place of being completely over everything. I was tired of the anxiety, I felt like it was never going to go away, I didn't know what to do or what to try, and I just wanted to be able to be myself. I ended up deciding to go back to counseling, and it was the best decision to make. God led me to the most fabulous counselor ever, and she has walked with me through the journey of this past year, pushing me, encouraging me, and pointing me to God as He has healed and restored and redeemed so much in my life. Through this deeper, sometimes painful healing that has taken place, the anxiety and panic attacks have faded. I still battle anxiety sometimes, but I know how to better handle it now - how to calm down - and more importantly, Who to turn to and the truth to stand firm in. The healing that God has done in my life has been one of the greatest gifts He has given me in my time here in Florida. I will be forever grateful for His gift of the right person to walk this journey with (everyone should go to counseling!!), His gift of healing, and the courage He is giving me to walk in the freedom He has given me.

I Can Still Dream
When I arrived in Florida, I think a part of me was resigned to the fact that this was my life and always would be. I was going to have to work in jobs I didn't love so I could provide for myself, and the dreams I had before were always going to remain unfulfilled dreams. Yes, this is dramatic, but it's honest. Through this year of healing though, God has shown me that not only is it okay to still dream but that He has some dreams for me that were far bigger than anything I could imagine. I never thought I'd go back to school again, but here I am a couple of months away from beginning a program that I am so excited about and feel made for. For the first time in a long time, I am able to dream about "someday" again. I don't know if God has a husband and kids in my future or not. If not, He'll be enough, but regardless, I'm able to dream about it again. And while I'm excited about the specific dreams that are being awakened in me, I'm most excited about the fact that dreaming is taking place again!

Pets Are Awesome
I have had Ellie for 6 years now, and she keeps making me smile. I am grateful for the gift of pets and the funniness that she adds to my life. She likes Florida too, and she especially likes sleeping on pillows.

Kindred Spirits Are The Best
I am so thankful for the kindred spirits God has given me through the years. I have enjoyed having Nikki as a roommate this year and seeing how God has redeemed both of our stories individually and as friends. (As an aside - we are currently looking for a new place to live, seeing how we have to be out of our apartment in a month. My last name when I was married was Harper and Nikki's was Phillips. We have some realtor people helping us look for places. So how ironic that Mr. & Mrs. Harper are helping us and we may have found a place to live in Dr. Phillips. God is sick sometimes. :P) But seriously, having Nikki to share this year with and being able to reconnect with Jenn and still having my mom as a friend....well, I'm a lucky girl.

I Love My Family
I have the greatest family ever. They have walked with me through this past year, and I have walked with them in their own stories. A lot has changed in a year for all of us, but I am so thankful for each of them and the gift it is to have your family also be some of your closest friends.


Now here we stand at the beginning of a new year in Florida, a year that is sure to hold adventures that I can't even begin to imagine. Some things are planned but most of what's ahead is unknown. Thankfully, I am a child of a very big God who loves me more than I can comprehend. No matter what this year holds, we'll walk the path together. And I can't wait to see what He has in store! Happy 4th!

Beauty Instead Of Ashes

I've shared with you guys before the quote on our kitchen rug: Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain. There are all sorts of verses and quotations that people offer when you're going through a tough time. Make lemons out of lemonade... All things work for good... Everything is made beautiful in His time, etc., etc. It's certainly not that these things aren't true, but when you're in the midst of the storm, you can sometimes want to punch the person who says that to you. Or maybe that's just the hostility in me. :)

Anyway, I am currently volunteering in the Divorce Care ministry at my church, helping lead a group of people who are in the very beginning stages of their separation/divorce. It has been a difficult, rewarding, fascinating and humbling experience so far, and we still have a couple of months to go. I have already learned a lot, and it's been interesting to go through this class this far into my journey with divorce. I actually went through the class initially as a participant several months after my divorce, and it has been a drastically different experience to go through it this time around. I watch the videos with a much different perspective, and I have been encouraged in my own journey through this time.

One of the most awesome things for me has been seeing where God has brought me. The people in my group are very raw, hurting deeply, in the deepest part of their storm. I remember being there myself. But enough time has gone by that I sometimes forget where I really did start from. I forget how much God has healed me and how far He has brought me. Then I show up on a Tuesday night and realize all over again that all of those cliches that can sound so trite really are true. He has worked all things for my good and His glory. I have learned (and am still learning) what it means to dance in the rain. My very favorite "saying" comes from Isaiah 61. This is the passage Jesus quoted when He showed up on earth to explain His purpose:

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom to the captives..." The passage goes on to say, "To comfort all who mourn...giving them beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning..."

I love that phrase, beauty instead of ashes. It's true, you know. Jesus really does take the ashes out of our lives - from whatever storms may come along - and He makes beauty. When you're in the midst of the storm, it's often impossible to believe that anything beautiful can come from it. But that's one of the coolest parts about a group like Divorce Care - I can share that hope with those in that place. Because even though it seemed impossible, God has given me beauty instead of ashes. And I am so grateful He has.

I took this picture the other day. We were having a storm - I love how you can see where the rain was actually falling. But what I love even more is how it looks like the rainbow originates from the storm itself. Such a cool picture that represents an amazing gift that God offers to us - beauty instead of ashes - sometimes even when the storm is still happening.